What a wonderful time!
The Young Families (YF) ministry had its first ever retreat. Held on February 19-20 – quite fittingly Family Day weekend – in Guelph, Ontario, we enjoyed a time of fellowship, insightful discussion and close bonding.
For a look at the specific activities and schedule, please check out this link.
On Sunday we had lunch at a nice restaurant in Guelph. Elder John Chung and Jisook generously paid for everyone – what a blessing!
We then made our way to the Royal Brock Conference Centre. Much to our surprise, there was a HUGE room for our kids to play in!
Thanks to Sunny jundosanim and April Chia for looking after the kids. They were ably assisted by Caitlin and James Chung.
Discussions in Small Groups
Brim Lee led us in a great time of discussion. The session was titled “Envisioning our Children in 20 Years”. We split off into small groups and had lively discussion.
Evening Activities
After great discussion and a lot of running around for the kids, we were ready to settle down for the evening.
We went back to the hotel and put our kids to sleep. One by one, the parents headed to John and Jisook’s suite – a nice big place for us to hang out!
After a good period of co-ed bonding, the guys headed over to the bar across the street to engage in manly discussion and bonding, while the women stayed in Jisook’s suite to do their thing. What a fun way to unwind and have a great time!
Morning Session
After sleep and a great continental breakfast at the hotel, we headed back to the conference centre.
This time, Rev. Kim led us in reflection on “Cultivating our Spirituality and Well-Being as Parents”. What wonderful insights he shared.
We learned that as parents, our role is not to just give and provide for them, but to really learn about who they are and understand them. If we are intelligent parents, then we will observe carefully what they are communicating through their actions and words. Our role is to be that one person in the world who truly understands them. That is the greatest gift we can give them. This feeling of being understood will instill great confidence in them.
Also, we are not just shaping our children, but giving them a lense through which they see the world. This lens shapes how they see themselves, see others and the world. Ultimately they make their own choices, but this lens will shape how they make life decisions.
We also learned an important point: in our society, we focus so much on performance over character. Everything we do as parents seems to be geared to improving their performance so they can function effectively in society, but we do not pay necessary attention to the development of their character. Real happiness of a child comes from character.
The important part of spirituality is developing our identity. Our children need to discover who they authentically are. That process is true spirituality. This is what it means to develop character.
Rev. Kim provided three lenses that we as parents should focus on developing in ourselves and in our children:
- Humility
The word “humility” is often misunderstood. We identify humility with weakness. But real humility is the ability to embrace weakness and deal with it. Once we can embrace and deal with our weaknesses, we then become more comfortable with ourselves. This was the temptation that Jesus went through – to be something other than who he was.
When we are truly humble, we will no longer play mind games with ourselves to compensate for our weaknesses and insecurities. Rather, our weaknesses will no longer affect us as negatively because we acknowledge it and accept it.
Humility is not just learning how to win, but more importantly, learning how to lose. Learning how to lose is what builds character.
When we are humble, we can see the world as it is without illusion.
What a powerful lesson on humility and developing this lens for ourselves and our children!
2. Ability to feel others’ pain
This world has become psychopathic in that we do not feel the pain of others. We have learned to ignore and pass by the pain that others go through. This has made us selfish and self-absorbed.
When we can feel the pain of others, then we learn to share. With this lens, we and our children learn that sharing is an important part of life.
3. Hope that never gives up
Life can be difficult and challenging. We must learn to always have hope, even in desperate situations. We must foster the belief that we can always get out difficult circumstances. This is where faith comes in. Faith tells us that when we are weak, God is strong.
We we and our children experience our own weaknesses, we rely on God’s strength. This faith and hope will give us and our children resilience to go through life’s challenges, especially when we experience failures.
In Summary
What a blessed community we have! So much sharing, laughter, and giving of ourselves for one another. That is truly how God intended for us to live, and this weekend was but a snapshot of God’s vision for humanity.
There are many thank you’s to go around, another sign of a blessed community:
- Sunny jundosanim and April Chia for looking after the kids, which enabled us to have such a meaningful time
- Brim Lee, Grace Bai, Aram Collier and Jenny Kim for organizing the details of the retreat
- John Chung and Jisook Kyun: for their loving presence and wisdom
- Lily Ko and Rev. Soo Jin Chung: for being present and bringing much joy and laughter
- Rev. In Kee Kim: for being with us and sharing such insightful wisdom
- Rev. Yong Mi (Sarah) Kim: for generously providing delicious kim bap
- Josh for taking pictures throughout the retreat
And finally, a great thank you to everyone who attended, for opening your hearts and minds. We look forward to a blessed and fruitful Young Families ministry!
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