This post is part of a series for expecting parents. To see the full series, go here: Expecting Parent Reflections.

1 Samuel 1

The Things of Our Hearts

Hannah was the second of two wives. The first wife had borne children, but Hannah had not. She was provoked by the first wife and in great distress. The husband loved Hannah more and poured out his love to her, but that could not take away her pain and sadness.

In life, we all carry a great pain that others cannot take away from us. There is a pain that we must carry all by ourselves. 

Hannah poured out her soul to God. She asked God to look upon her misery, to remember her and to give her a child. She expressed her heart’s deepest sentiments and yearnings to God. She promised to dedicate her son to God if God granted her a child. In time, God did provide her with a son, Samuel, which means “I have asked him of the Lord.”

What are the deep sentiments, pains and yearnings of your heart? 

The Spiritual Journey of Parents into Children

The spiritual journey is one of getting in touch with these deep things in our hearts, and bringing them openly and honestly to God. When we go through that journey with honesty and authenticity, that journey will flow into the life of our child.

Samuel became a great leader of Israel, the one who anointed King David, who became the most famous king of all. His life was in service to God and his nation. I believe he found his calling because of the spiritual struggle and journey his mother went through. God remembered Hannah, and Hannah in turn remembered God. That journey of faith became embedded in Samuel.

Whether you know it or not, your own pains, struggles and yearnings will affect the journey that your child takes. When we bring them to God honestly and struggle with them, that will influence our children to take on the honest journey for themselves too. Only through this journey of honest grappling with what’s in our hearts will we find our true calling in life, and so too will your child as they follow your example of going through that journey of honest grappling. 

This post is part of a series for expecting parents. To see the full series, go here: Expecting Parent Reflections.

Dear expecting parents,

Congratulations on the new life that is taking shape inside the mother’s womb. I love new birth. To me it is the ultimate symbol of new hope and new life. All the death in the world cannot take away the joy that comes from the birth of a new life. Also for me, birth is God’s great gift of life to us, a concrete manifestation of God’s creation. Birth is a holy and exalted event. And so I convey my joy and happiness for this journey you are on.

This is a time of preparation for you. Preparation for life that is about to change completely. Until now, you have lived life pretty much for yourself – your dreams, your passions, things you enjoy doing. But that is about to change in 2020. Life will no longer be just about what you want, but will be driven in large part – if not completely – by the needs of your child. 

Much of your preparation involves the physical and day-to-day matters: getting the room ready, the crib made, having all the paraphernalia ready. Much of your day-to-day life with your child will involve attending to their external and physical needs: sleep, food, diapers. All of this shows that we are indeed physical, biological creatures. 

But we are so much more than just that. We are human beings created in the image of God. We are created with feelings, emotions, thoughts, behaviours and stories. All of these comprise our inner being – the part of us that is created in the image of God. We are all created so uniquely and beautifully. 

Here’s the greatest insight I’ve gained from youth ministry: the inner being of the parents shape most deeply the inner being of the child. Who you are will shape in profound ways who the child becomes. It’s not what you do on the outside, it’s who you are on the inside that will be the greatest shaper of your child. We can all fake what we do on the outside, but in our families, who we are will be manifest in our daily lives and ultimately in our children.

So my prayer for you is that as you prepare for parenthood, you take some time to reflect on and attend to who you are. What thoughts, emotions, pains, hopes, worries and much more do you carry in you? Because whatever you have will be transferred to your child. What is your story? What has shaped your life and how you approach it? What do you make of that? 

My job is to study the Bible. In the writings and stories of the Bible, I believe there is tremendous insight and truth about life. So I would like to offer a series of reflections from stories in the Bible over the next few weeks. In particular, I want to focus on some birth stories. What is powerful about stories in the Bible is that these are stories of faith. When we reflect on them and grasp truth that flows from them, those stories can become our stories too. And that makes life much more full, hopeful and abundant.

I will share one reflection from a story each week for the next four weeks. I hope that during this time, we can convene on Zoom once or twice to share your thoughts on the reflections. That way, we can share what we’re thinking and offer support and prayers for one another. How does that sound?

I pray that the reflections to come can bless your life as you prepare for the new life to come. Again, I’m so happy and joyful for this journey you’re on!

Sincerely,

Simon

This post is part of a series for expecting parents. To see the full series, go here: Expecting Parent Reflections.

Exodus 1-2:10

Finding God’s Will in our Circumstances

God uses the circumstances of our lives to enact God’s own will. We decide whether to align ourselves with that will, or to go our own way. Discerning that will is a calling for each of us, and our duty as parents is to help our children discern that will for their own lives too.

We often ask what God’s will for my life is. That is hard to determine on its own, apart from the circumstances of our lives. The mystery of God’s will is often hidden in the circumstances we’ve lived through – our struggles, challenges and difficulties.

Moses’ life was shaped before he was born

Moses’ life was shaped by circumstances long before he was born.  

The background begins with the entry and settlement into Egypt of Jacob’s family. His family went to Egypt during a great famine. His favoured son, Joseph, had been sold into slavery in Egypt, but through God’s providence, he rose to great heights there, and eventually brought his family there. They settled and became very fruitful.

But now, many generations later, a new king has arisen in Egypt. He saw the Israelites as a threat. He thus oppressed them. When they continued to be fruitful, he tried to kill them. Into this context, Moses was born.

When we think of our own lives, are we complete masters of our own destiny? Do we build our lives from scratch on a blank page? The reality is that we have been shaped by the people and experiences in our lives. How have the people and experiences in your life shaped you?

The great theme: life vs. death

The great theme we see in this passage is the struggle between life and death. Pharaoh wanted to bring death to the Israelites. The Israelite people, the Hebrew midwives, and Moses’ mother fought for life. 

Even before Moses was born, these two things would come to shape his life to come: (1) the struggle for life over death; and (2) Pharaoh. Pharaoh made the life of Moses’ people harsh. Pharaoh led Moses’ mother to hide him in a basket. Pharaoh’s daughter found him and adopted him. Pharaoh led Moses to be separated from his mother as a child. Living in Pharaoh’s court made him very confused about his identity – bred as an Egyptian with the blood of a Hebrew.

These circumstances shaped Moses. Within these circumstances came his unique calling to lead his people to freedom from the bondage of Pharaoh. He understood the ways of Pharaoh; he had the emotions of a Hebrew. For a while, he tried to run away from that calling by escaping to the peaceful pastures of Midian. But God found him at the burning bush and led him back.

Our life’s calling is to be found in our circumstances as well. So too will the life’s calling of your child. 

What are your stories?

Whether we know it or not, our own stories flow into the next generation. What are your stories? What are your stories of struggle, of trying to find life against the forces of death? When did you face inner struggles with confidence, difficult circumstances, conflict with family or others, and forces that were holding you down? How did you deal with those challenges and try to overcome them?

Those are your stories, and just like for Moses, they will flow into your child as well. A great form of spiritual preparation for parenthood is to reflect on your own life stories and see how they shaped you. These stories are part of the legacy that you are bequeathing to your child. Your stories are God’s gifts to them.

So for this coming week, I challenge you to think about your own life stories and how you have been shaped. 

I would love to hear some of what they are!