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Change
Our topic this weekend is change. Change is very important in our lives. It’s the very, very core of the life that we’re living. Depending on what kind of change you make, your life will be very, very different. If I didn’t change to become a minister, my life would have been very different. If I didn’t change to come to Canada, my life would have been very different. So depending on what kind of changes you make in your lives, your life will turn out very differently depending on which university you go to, or depending on what you try to major in, or where to live, or what to do with your lives. So all these changes, little changes, make tremendous impact on your life and so it is a very important topic… but how mindlessly and carelessly we make changes. Just for a moment, we just change and then you regret and you change back.
And so a lot of times we make these changes without really thinking about it, even though it is very, very important that we think very carefully when we make changes, and a lot of people don’t make changes like that. Just by the emotion, by the feeling, by the circumstances or by having to make changes – they make changes like that – but I don’t think that is a healthy way of making changes in our lives. So this weekend we’re going to talk then about how do we change and what is involved in making changes. So the first night tonight I’m going to mainly focus on the attitude towards change and tomorrow morning for the second lecture, I’m going to talk about the dynamics of change or what is going on in the change itself, and the third lecture I’m going to talk about what do we need to do in making changes.
So maybe attitude and change itself and action… and the three topics are: the first one is change happens from the deep desire, and the second one is change happens in the wilderness, and third one is change happens from the mustard seed. Those are the three topics that I’m going to talk about. This is our fourth lecture on happiness. First lecture we talked about happiness itself. How do people become happy? And then we talked about St. Paul a lot and then in Philippians he was in prison, he was waiting for death and he was going through all difficult times, but he said, “Rejoice. And I’ll say it again. Rejoice.” Where did he get that joy? Where did he get that happiness?
How Do I Find Happiness?
Where did he get that happiness? And this is what we studied; that happiness does not come from circumstances, we realized. And then the study showed that 50 percent of your happiness you’re born with it and then 10 percent your circumstances give you, and 40 percent is your attitude. So some people are born with like a 48 other people born with 47, 46, 45, whatever. You’re born with it, you can’t change it. Some people are happier than others. Just a little bit of a difference. Some people, 9-10 percent difference of happiness or 8-7 percent. So the degrees are small but depending on your attitude you have 40 percent to work with. So even if you are on the lower scale in your genetics, you still have 40 percent to work with so anybody can be happy… but how does a person become happy? It is to do with the whole series of your belief system which produces your thought, your thought produces your feelings, your feeling produces your action, your action produces your habit, and your habit produces lifestyle. So it all begins with your belief system, what belief system you have inside of you that determines how happy you become and your lifestyle.
And a belief system Paul had was this. This was Paul’s belief system: “I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ.” It doesn’t matter what happens, but Jesus will bring it to completion. He had that belief system and that belief system controlled his thought. His thought controlled his feeling, his feeling controlled his action, his action controlled his habit, his habit controlled his lifestyle. That’s how he could say, “Rejoice and rejoice again.” So that was the first lecture that we discussed, and the second lecture we said that, you are happy with your life, not just because you have lot of things, you are happy with your life because life is meaningful. Meaningfulness is very important. And then where do we find the meaning?
We write our own stories.
In a way, we all create stories through your life. You are writing stories. Your life is like story. You hear the story of Abraham, you hear the story of Joseph, you hear the story of Jacob, their stories are all different, but their life created those stories. Each person is creating a story. What kind of story are you going to write in your life? In other words, you’re all novelists. You’re writing a novel, a good novel with your life, and what kind of novel are you going to write? Just a flat novel or a very exciting life are you going to make? Every story has meaning. Life has a meaning. Think about what kind of story you want to make with your life. When you look at the Bible, it is all about stories, different people’s life stories. And when we look at it very carefully, there’s one theme that is going on, that is from bondage to freedom.
That is the story of the Bible. Every person, even though their lives are all different – one common thread, one common theme was from bondage to freedom. That is a kind of life story. So life has a meaning because it makes up stories in your lives. And in the third lecture we talked about your happiness comes from not money, not success, not career, not comfort. Your happiness comes from your relationship with other people. And in relationships there are two kinds of relationship. I-thou relationship and I-it relationship. I-it relationship is when you go to a restaurant and order food. The person who’s serving you and yourself, that is I-it relationship. I pay for the money and they give me the food. So that is I-it relationship. I-it relationship, 90 percent of our relationship is I-it relationship, professional relationship is I-it relationship, but only 10 percent is an I-thou relationship.
I-thou relationship is more than “I give you this money, you do something for me.” It’s not that kind of relationship. An I-thou relationship is essentially Jesus sacrificing himself for us. That is a real love relationship. You sacrifice yourself for the other person because you love them. There’s a deep interconnectedness between you and them. You are deeply sharing with each other, that is an I-thou relationship. This relationship only happens for 10 percent of your life, but it governs your happiness. The more I-thou relationships you have, the happier you’ll become. The more I-it relationship you have, the less happier you will become. So these relationships determines what kind of happiness and what kind of life you’re going to live with your children. What is your relationship? Is it an I-it relationship or an I-thou relationship with your spouse or with your friends or among your Christian brothers and sisters?
Do we create I-it relationships or I-thou relationships? Do we have to think about it and if so, are we trying to build I-thou relationship in every relationship that we have? Even in an I-it relationship, we try our best to build some kind of I-thou relationship from that. Say you’re talking with a customer, you ask, “How are you? You look kind of down today?” This type of gesture is what is helping us create an I-thou relationship in our life. At this retreat, I want to examine the different aspects of change.
To be truly happy, there has to be meaningful change. I believe that Jesus Christ came to us and made us happy by bringing meaningful changes in people’s lives. That’s what Jesus did. Every person he met, he brought changes. That’s what Jesus did. Every person who met Jesus Christ, there was nobody who was not changed. They somehow was affected by Jesus and they somehow got changed and they became happy – not necessarily that they became more successful, not necessarily they became more comfortable or they made more money.
For example, St. Paul before Jesus, he was much, much more comfortable. He had more money then, but after meeting Jesus Christ, he was kicked out from his home and he got persecuted. Their life circumstances did not become better necessarily, but they became happier. So whoever met Jesus Christ, they somehow experienced some kind of change, profound change in them, and Jesus Christ came to make us happy by bringing changes in us. So that’s what we’re going to discuss together.
{Group Discussion till 16:39}
Change in the Bible
First of all, let us talk about the Samaritan woman first. The Samaritan woman, what changes did she experience?
She didn’t want to meet anybody. That’s why she came out at noon to draw water, to make sure that nobody was there. In other words, she did not want to associate with anybody, but she met Jesus at the well. After that encounter, she threw away her water jar and went back to town and started talking to other people, she communicated with people. Meeting Jesus changed her life completely.
How about Zacchaeus? Who was Zacchaeus?
That’s right. He was tax collector at that time, although he was not just a tax collector. During those times, they were comparable to thieves and crooks. They were considered crooked people because they are the ones who could exploit their own people. If they can collect more taxes, they in turn get to have more. Due to this, they were despised by other people but Jesus called unto him and singled him out. And Zacchaeus was so impressed by Jesus that he gave up everything. Before his meeting with Jesus, money was everything to him. Money was his god. After meeting Jesus Christ, he was able to give up his god. This kind of change happened in Zacchaeus.
How about Simon (Peter)?
Before, Simon (Peter) thought that he could do it with his own will, with his own strength, but yet he denied Jesus three times after Jesus Christ came and said, “Do love me?” What he really meant was, you can only follow me when you truly love me. He realized that about the power of Jesus’ love and that changed him completely. He was forgiven. He was given a new chance to live his life.
St. Paul?
He was a very zealous Pharisee. He said, “As far as law is concerned, I’m blameless.” He was full of self righteousness. “I am the best.” But after meeting Christ, he realized that he was nobody. So that kind of understanding completely changed St. Paul around.
And finally Nicodemus?
He comes out three times in the gospel of John, but Nicodemus was a very respected person. He was rich, he was religious, he was a leader, he was political, he was powerful; he had everything. But somehow he met Jesus Christ and Jesus said to him that you have to be born again. You have to change from the bottom. And then he realized that what he achieved was not everything, and through the course of his life, he really changed.
Change is Happening
So all of these people were changed by Jesus Christ. They met Jesus Christ and they changed. When you meet Jesus Christ; change is bound to happen. Change is going to happen. When you truly meet Jesus Christ; change is going to happen. Then what are some of the questions about change? Like what is change? Why are people reluctant to change? How do people decide to change? What are the dynamics of change? These are the questions that we are going to explore together. It’s difficult to talk about change because change is very complex and there is no single formula or theory by which people change. People change for all kinds of reasons. They walk around and all of a sudden, “I don’t want to live like this,” and they change. All of a sudden they change.
So we don’t know exactly what is going on in the dynamics. Change is complex. It is hard to really pinpoint what changes exactly and the people who have changed, they cannot explain how they changed. They can’t explain how they became Christian or how they became a followers of Jesus Christ. How they’ve changed from one life to another life. They themselves don’t know how to explain what happened to them, but even though change is complex and difficult to explain, we know that change always happens. This past winter was very, very difficult. We had to have a worship service without electricity. It was so hard. But soon after we see this new bud, and then I hear the birds chirping and I was so glad. I was so happy that winter is finally over. Now it’s summer.
Things always change. Children grow up fast. I still remember my daughter playing with the waves when we would go to a beach. She was so small. She goes out to the ocean. When the wave comes, she runs away but when the waves retreat, she goes out. And then now this year she says she’s getting married.
Things change. Kids leave home. Old people pass away. There is nothing that stays the same. It is an illusion to say that everything stays the same. When you plant a new seed, it doesn’t look like any changes are being made. But the next day, you walk around, you go here and there and then all of a sudden it has changed into the flower. If you put a camera there all night, then you will be able to see the whole process of change. We don’t see it with our physical eyes, but change is always happening. That’s why Heraclitus – he was an Ephesian philosopher – he said, “No one ever steps in the same river twice. The second time you put your foot in, the water is not the same water anymore.” Different water comes in so no one ever steps in the same river twice. Nothing stays the same except one.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Everything changes in the world. That is the number one truth of life, but we are not very good at accepting this number one truth of life. And second, we are not very good at accepting changes. Elizabeth Lesser in her book, Broken Open, she said, “How strange that the nature of life is change. Yet the nature of human beings is to resist change.” There’s an old saying, “You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.” Human beings are habitual animals. Once we are thrown into an environment, we get used to our circumstances and once we are used to our circumstances we then become good at repeating the same task over and over. We do it mindlessly.
We don’t like to change unless we have to. We are habitual beings, we are good at adjusting to our circumstances, but we are not good at changing our circumstances. We’re only good at adjusting to our circumstances. We’re good at adapting to a new pattern of life, but we’re not very good at changing the pattern of our lives. In other words, we are good at being a passive recipient of change but not very good at being an active agent of change. Do you want to be a passive recipient of change or an active agent of change? We wait and wait until we are left with no choice but to make a change, and then we change. We don’t actively search for a way to make changes.
You know, it is one thing to receive changes. It is another thing to make changes. What is your life like? Do you continuously receive changes or do you continuously make changes? What kind of lifestyle do you live? Do you just let things change you or do you yourself make changes in your lives? If you just receive your changes, then you have no ownership of the change, and if you have no ownership, then you have no responsibility for the change that you are making. This means that you always blame other people. You always blame the circumstances. “Oh, I didn’t want to change, but these things change me.” Parents cannot make all the choices for their children. The children need to have the freedom to make their own decisions and even the freedom to make mistakes. We cannot let our circumstances dictate the change in our lives.
If we do that, we will live our lives constantly blaming our circumstances. We won’t feel the empowerment. American author and aviator Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s said, “There is no sin punished more implacably by nature than the sin of resistance to change.” For every change that happens in me, I want to be solely in charge of that. I don’t want change just to happen and impose on me, I want to be in charge of changes. I don’t want to receive changes. I want to make changes for every change. I want to take charge.
I’m not saying that you have to make a lot of changes. Some people make lots of changes, they change jobs and they change this and that. They change mindlessly. They feel bored and make changes on a whim. This is just escapism. By making changes, it only really changes the surface, but that doesn’t make it “real” change. They are making only superficial changes, but these are not considered “real” changes. They are only changing the exterior, not the true inner core of what really needs to be changed.
Change for Sake of Change or True Transformation?
In Korean, there is a good saying; difference between 바꾸는 것 and 변하는 것 (change). These are two different things. 바꾸는 것. Do you understand this Korean? 바꾸는 것/변하는 것. 바꾸는 것 is change just on the surface; you change your circumstances or sceneries, but 변하는 것 is of deeper insight; real inner change. Inner change is what is needed. Not only changing the sceneries and circumstances. In this fast changing society, I want to be awake, otherwise I’ll be swept away by the changes that are happening within me. I want to be awake. What changes are happening in me? I want to be awake. I want to know. I don’t want to be blindly influenced by changes that are happening without me knowing. If I’m ignorant, I’ll just be swept away by the changes that are imposed on me.
I don’t want my circumstances to shape who I am exclusively. I don’t want other people, peers, or even my own parents to mold who I am. Truly. I want to be the main character of the change that happens in me and I know that realistically I have no choice but to be shaped by the change, against my own will, but I don’t want to be shaped helplessly and mindlessly. I have no choice but to be shaped, but I don’t want that to happen mindlessly and helplessly, at least I want to be aware of changes that happen in me. I don’t want to live the same life simply because I’ve lived like that for the last 10 years.
I don’t want to continue just because I’ve lived like that for the last several years. If I don’t like a part of who I am and don’t like what I am doing, I will change. I will not powerlessly just accept my life. That is essentially a defeated mentality. God accepts me for who I am, but God never leaves me there. God accepts me as I am, but God never leaves me there. God desires to change us. God always wants to take us to the next level. That’s what our God does.
St Paul experienced this kind of change within him. He said, “In Christ, we are a new creation. Behold, the old has gone and the new has come.” He boldly proclaimed this change that is happening within him, and this was St Paul’s attitude about his life. Philippians 3:12-14. “Not that I’ve already obtained this or have reached the goal, but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” Even St. Paul doesn’t think that he’s finished changing.
I’m not already there yet, but I press on and then he said, “This one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal.” That is a true spiritual person’s attitude. Instead of just accepting what you have right now, you press on to the end goal. You have so much potential yet why are you just sitting on it? You cannot just sit on it. You have to move on. What St. Paul talked about was the inner change within us. 2 Corinthians 4:16 says, “Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.” We all get old. We all get weak. But our inner nature needs to be renewed every day. So every day becomes a new life rather than another same day.
I want to live like each day is a new day. It doesn’t matter how old you are. When you are renewed inwardly, then you become fresh every day. That is the kind of life St. Paul lived. If your life is full of worries and anxieties, if you’re filled with anger, rage, and even hatred, if you’re not sure about your future, if you’re not sure about what you want to do in your life, if you’re under your guilt and fear, if you’re so conceded that you don’t even feel for other people, then we all need change. You don’t need to change your jobs or your circumstances. We need to change here; in our heart. We change because I want to be truer to myself. That’s why I want to change, not to become great, but because I want to be truer to myself.
That’s why we change. The Bible believed in the change. Jesus believed in the change. Stories in the Bible are stories of change. We already looked at all these people; Nicodemus, the Samaritan Woman and more. If Bible believes the change, if God believes in the change, if Jesus believes in the change, why don’t we all believe in the change?
Do you believe that you can change?
We have the belief that we can change. Change is not a theory. Change is a spiritual reality. God is god of making changes. It has God’s attribute, God’s nature. I have done 27 years of ministry. I have seen so many beautiful changes in people. When people change it is so beautiful. They make other people so happy. Do you know who the greatest enemy of change is? Who do you think? Satan? It is much simpler than that; it is ourselves. We are the greatest enemy of change.
It is our lack of belief that change can happen. Our pessimistic belief has to be challenged. It is like poison. It kills the dynamics of change in you. That’s why we don’t change because of our pessimistic belief, because it kills the dynamics of change. We don’t change. We get stuck in where we are. So then to make changes, the most important thing is your desire to change. When you have the desire to change, then change happens. That is the miracle. When you desire change, then change happens. George Bernard Shaw said, “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” If there’s a will, there’s a way. We need to cultivate the strong desire to change within us since that desire sits within us. You will experience the miraculous movement of change within you. The more your desire grows within you, the more active the movement of change you will experience. You have to actually experience that movement within you. When you have the desire; that active movement of change is happening within your belly, within your heart, within you. You feel that something is changing, something is moving. When you have a baby, you feel that life moving within you. In the same way, when you have the seed of change within you, you don’t feel flat. You feel something is moving within you. That desire creates the movement. Cultivate that desire and bear the fruit of change.
This is what Henri Nouwen said. “When the human heart is open and responsive to the movements of the spirit, healthy spiritual formation inevitably occurs.” Having the desire to change and going through real change, these are two different realities. Why? Those are two different realities. What is the correlation between these two? What connects these two? Having the desire to change and actually changing. That is a mystery. What connects them?
It is not what that connects them; it is God.
It is God that makes it happen. You don’t make real changes. When you have the desire to change, God uses that desire to bring about changes within you. 1 Corinthians 3:6, this is what St. Paul said. “I planted, apollos watered, but God gave the growth.” It is not I who brought growth but God who brought growth. These are the very famous words that Jesus said in the book of Matthew, “Ask now and it will be given to you.” I divided it into 2, the left side is desire and right side is real change. “Ask” is your desire, but “it will be given to you” is the true change that happens. “Search and you shall find, knock and the door will open for you.” So when you desire change, then actual change happens, but that is what God does. The important thing is that we build the desire within us. How can we build the desire to change? If you build that desire to change, change is going to happen, but since we don’t have that desire, we think that change cannot happen. “I will never change. I’ll be like this for the rest of my life.” Then change will not happen. But when you believe that you can change, when you have that desire to change; that will miraculously bring about the movement within you and bring about real changes within you.
The Pool of Bethesda
Have you heard of the Pool of Bethesda? There was a person who was sick for 38 years. The story goes when the pool was stirred up, the first person who goes inside of the pool will be healed. So all the sick people were gathering around the pool so they can see the water being stirred up. Just imagine what would happen when water stirs up. Everybody would try to go into the pool to be the first person.
All these sick people will do anything to be the first person to go in. So the Pool of Bethesda really means a “pool of mercy.” What kind of mercy is that? So whenever the water is stirred up, we try our best to be perfect. That’s just like us. Whoever is at the top, whoever’s the fastest, whoever’s the highest, they will be the one healed.
That’s a myth.
When Jesus Christ came to this one person who was sick, who had been sick for 38 years, Jesus’ question was this, “Do you want to be healed?” What kind of question is that? He was sick for 38 years and Jesus asked, “Do you want to be healed?” What a strange question, but the answer is even more strange. The man didn’t say that he wanted to be healed. What did he say? “Don’t push me into the pool, I cannot be the first person.” He believes that change is only possible If he’s the first person who goes into the pool.
Sometimes we have wrong desire, “But do you really want to be healed? Do you really want to be well?” In the back of my mind, I’m thinking only if I make this kind of money, only if I have this job, then I’ll be healed. If we have this mentality, then we cannot be healed. If I truly have the desire to be healed then come to Jesus. Come humbly to Jesus. Jesus did not push him into the pool. He healed this man.
Ask yourself, do you want to be healed? Do you want to be well? Do you want to be whole? Prayer is our desire. Our prayer is our desire. When we pray, we express our desire. Every morning when we pray, we express our desire and God uses that desire to change us. In our world, there are so many things that kill our desire to change. Cynicism, skepticism, lack of experience of the wonder, stubbornness or helplessness. Due to this, people cannot cultivate this desire. No wonder we don’t experience real change.
What is Change?
For me, change is a mystery. It’s not a mechanical process. To me, change is mystery. How did I change? I don’t know. It’s a mystery. I still need to change but I’m so excited. How is God going to change me? In the last 10 years, he has changed you so much. The next 10 years, how is he going to change you? You might not even see anything immediate.
Very soon, God is going to change me tremendously. God is going to change each and every one of you tremendously. Change is beyond our understanding and beyond our control. Change is not just our own effort. Change is more than effort. Change is entering into a different level of reality. Change is entering into a different reality. The first reality is basic pleasure and entertainment. That’s the reality we live in. You only need to think about how to have a good time and then after meeting your needs, you want to serve others, you want to help others. The second level of reality and then the third level of reality is ultimately being one with God; a union with God. Change is entering into different levels of reality, day by day, year by year. Change is possible because God is leading us, using our desire to change. Grow this desire within you. Don’t stay where you are. Grow desire to become what you want to be. You will encounter the amazing miracle of change. The people who have no desire to change, they’re the victims of fear and failure.
They have been defeated so much that they don’t even have a desire to change. Don’t live your lives as victims. Anybody can change if they have desire to change, you have the powerhouse within you. It’s the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit is your power to change you, “As the deer pants for the water. My Soul thirsts for you.” Jesus said, “Anyone who is thirsty come to me. I’ll give them the living water.” When you’re thirsty for change, you come to Jesus and Jesus will give you that living water. Think about these questions. What do I want to change? How can I change? What do I want to change? How can I change? Asking the simpler questions are good enough. What do I want to change? How can I change? Did you know that your brain cannot refuse your questions? When you ask questions, your brain is working hard to find the answer. So if you ask yourself this question, “Why am I so stupid?” The brain continuously goes seeking for an answer. Your brain cannot refuse our own questions, so if you continuously ask that question, your brain will come up with answers to those questions, but if you ask, “What can I change? How can I change?” You will get answers.
Grow strong desire in you to change. You will find a way. You will be amazed by how God shows you the way. The artist Henri Matisse was diagnosed with cancer in 1941. From then on, he had to depend on the wheelchair. He could not draw anymore. He said, “My life after cancer was my second life,” but that didn’t stop him from creating art. He started using paper and scissors to express himself artistically, in his own way. This is what he said, “Only what I created after the illness constitutes my real self, free liberated.”
When the change happens, life looks different. Life looks different. If you have the desire to change and then change starts happening in you. Your eyes will open and their life looks different. People look different. God will help you. The proverb says, “The plans of the mind belongs to mortals, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps.” You don’t make changes alone. You are not alone. God will help you. Think about yourself. Are you so defeated that you don’t even have a desire to change?
Build that desire within you day by day and be awed by the mystery God brings in your lives. What you experience, the life you lived, is not everything. There is much more ahead of you, much more waiting for you. When you have the desire growing in you, then you will experience it. “I’ve never seen this before. I didn’t know that there is such a beautiful thing in life,” and then your eyes will be opened and life becomes alive.
You experience fulfillment of life, and that is a kind of change God wants to bring about. So during this retreat, think about what desires you have. What kind of change do you want to make in your lives? Don’t just be a passive recipient to simply receive changes imposed on you. I’m not going to do that anymore. I used to do that. I’m not gonna make changes because they are being imposed on me. I want to intentionally make changes with the help of God. I’m not gonna be swayed by the circumstances, by the forces of nature, by the forces of life. I’m going to be directed by the forces of the spirit. That’s what I’m going to do for the rest of my life and you do too. How can the spirit guide you, lead you. What kind of a change does the spirit want to make in your lives? That is the power of empowerment.
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