By: Caitlin Chung
Humble beginnings
Within the first 15 seconds of stepping foot onto MBC grounds, a ravenous mosquito sunk its miniature fangs into the side of my face.
I’d say that’s one way to start an annual summer retreat, am I right?
Jokes and pesky insects aside, I become a little kid again the minute I inhale the crisp Muskoka air, dig my feet into the rocky dust, and laugh alongside my dear family in Christ under the beaming sun.
While most kids looked forward to yearly trips at lakeside cottages, growing up, I had my sights set on MBC. A spiritual haven adored by a surprising amount of diverse denominations. It seems as though we’re all united by our love for Christ and MBC’s timeless facilities (the food may be the biggest appeal).
I still remember the first time I heard the hushed whispers of frightening news circulating the church: that St. Tim’s may have to relocate their annual retreat to a different facility. Oh, what horror!
While home is where the heart is, and retreats find their value through those who attend… I’d like to extend my gratitude to our faithful retreat coordinators for securing the booking year in and year out. Deb Chang and Veronica Park, St. Tim’s very own stellar duo.
‘Who is Jesus?’
My initial reaction belittled the depth of such a simple question. When I couldn’t formulate a proper response, I was humbled by my lack of knowledge. Yet, it ignited a fire within me, an insatiable curiosity… and a desire to deepen my shallow understanding of Jesus.
I think most of us instinctively picture Jesus as a fully grown adult with long brown hair, a nicely trimmed beard wearing a suspiciously spotless white robe. He’ll uphold a gentle smile and exude a distinctly patient composure. Or maybe we picture him on the cross, nailed onto planks of splintering wood, bleeding.. dying so that we may be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life.
While we explored who Jesus was to us, we ultimately embarked on an exploration of ourselves. Thank you Rev. In Kee Kim for a deeply insightful study on the differing perspectives of the three gospels, Mark, Matthew, and Luke.
Small group solidarity
After a deeply enriching year of YP Bible study sessions and retreats graciously led by Rev. Dave and my own involvement with campus ministries across the province, my eyes have been opened to the importance of sharing your burdens with your brothers and sisters in Christ. The simple act of letting your guard down, of being authentically vulnerable, within a community of faith does wonders for the spirit and mind.
While I listened in awe of the wisdom and intrapersonal awareness of my peers, I found peace in knowing we were all struggling to stand against the relentless tides of the world. Pushing onward, one heavy step at a time, to be one with Christ. We collectively recognized how temptation and comparison divert our attention away from what is sanctified and true. From LinkedIn connections and internship opportunities to the pressure to “succeed” in a secular context, we easily lose sight of God’s will for our lives. While we blindly strive for self-agency, comfort and stability, the lives we idolize end up slipping from our fingertips.
Mark – Contemplating servanthood
At this stage in our lives, as university students emerging into the workforce, we can’t help but dwell upon what it means to devote our lives to Christ. We’re on the cusp of making major life orienting decisions after all. Sometimes, it feels like we’re stuck at a fork in the road, grappling between what may seem like two opposite ideals. Follow the way of the world or follow Jesus? Is it possible to find balance?
Understanding Jesus led to a critical analysis of who we were meant to be, and what we were meant to do as followers of Christ in a world riddled with darkness and despair.
I’ve always perceived serving as a one dimensional concept. One must be in a position of leadership in the church, take out the garbage and set up chairs, plan events and do the grunt work that would be left untouched otherwise. Rev. Simon reminded us that being present within our communities is serving in and of itself. That’s when servanthood became more clear to me; that more than what we do, God works through who we are.
Oftentimes, we boast of our suffering. We bask in our pride and look down upon those who seemingly reside in idle comfort. But Jesus didn’t choose to suffer, he suffered as a consequence of his authenticity. God works through those who acknowledge their weaknesses, through a humility that reminds us that we need God in every aspect of our lives.
Matthew – Grappling with gratitude
Learning such advanced theological terminology made me feel at least 10 times smarter coming out of the retreat. “Messianic secret” and “providence,” they roll off the tongue so elegantly. On a more serious note, I’m glad I can add such a beautiful new term to my lexicon. Not by luck, nor by hard work, but by providence. That our life is in God’s hands, that every piece flows to create a larger picture; one that we may not be able to discern just yet. Perceiving my life as an assembly of intentional occurrences, where nothing is arbitrary or random, has brought me overwhelming peace.
But being able to confidently believe that everything happens for a reason comes from a place of privilege in and of itself. For those we encounter who have endured horrific circumstances, we can’t bring ourselves to say that their suffering plays a role in the grander scope of their lives. However, the ability to recognize God in our lives only comes with faith, and we know that everything works out for those who love the Lord.
Though we still have many questions, I look back with overwhelming gratitude for the relationships God has blessed me with, the opportunities that God placed in my life, and even the struggles I’ve had to endure. While I believe that suffering produces character, it more importantly fosters sensitivity; it plants the seed for empathy, compassion and a burning drive for justice. Sensitivity awakens our awareness and ability to discern God’s will.
Luke – Commitment to Christ
To surrender my whole life, my whole self to Jesus, in order to fulfill God’s will is frankly one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever had to consider. I recognize the crippling fear that creeps into my heart. The worries that consume me, but that is what we are called to do as followers of Christ. To lose our lives, to entrust all that we are to God, and through our own transformation, transform the world at large. Just as comfort breeds complacency, God works through those who sit on the margins and actively seek change.
Through our studies on Jesus in the context of God’s greater plan, I’ve emerged inspired and ultimately encouraged. Despite the nagging voices within, I find peace and hope under the warm light of Jesus’ example and embrace. What do we have to fear when God is leading the way? When God redeems the lost with his steadfast love and mercy?
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