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Feeling guilty is a common response of all human beings.
We are not perfect. We all make mistakes.
We don’t always follow the good we aspire; we follow the evil we despise, sometimes. We don’t always stand up for what is right. We compromise with what is not right.
Because of fear, we run away for our own safety instead of standing up for what we believe.
That was what all the disciples did.
When their friend, their teacher was unjustly arrested, they deserted Jesus. They all ran away.
Then all the disciples deserted him and fled. (Matthew 26:56)
When we don’t live up to the principles we honour, we feel guilty.
Feeling guilty is a natural response and often a right thing to do. There is nothing wrong with feeling guilty.
The issue is not whether you feel guilty or not. The issue is what do you do with the guilt you feel.
In today’s passage, Jesus came to help the disciples to deal with their guilt. Jesus appeared to the disciples who were deeply saddened.
Guilt makes you feel sad. Guilt makes you feel powerless.
This sadness and powerlessness were well captured in one verse.
Simon Peter said to them, ‘I am going fishing.’ They said to him, ‘We will go with you.’ They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. (John 21:3)
They caught nothing!
Their minds were somewhere else. They had no motivation to catch fish. They were too sad.
Yes, that’s what guilt does. Guilt makes you not only sad but powerless.
The mistake we made, the kind of situation we created because of our mistakes – we can do nothing to fix it. Many times, it is a spilled milk and there is nothing you can do to fix the wrong you did.
Modern people don’t like that. Modern people don’t like the feeling that you can do nothing.
But that is often the case with guilt. Whatever happened in the past, you cannot fix it. It’s already done.
Yes, you may feel guilty, but what good is it when the guilt cannot do anything to fix it.
But in today’s passage, I see hopefulness in guilt.
David Prusha, a psychologist, once said,
Our guilt hides hope within it.
I thought it was a very interesting comment.
Guilt hides hope within it. So, after all, guilt is not useless. It’s not all bad.
That’s what I see in today’s passage.
I don’t just see remorsefulness, sadness, and powerlessness. I see movement from guilt to hope.
I see a new dimension of guilt. I see Jesus doing a wonderful thing with our guilt.
Guilt is not just about acknowledging your wrongdoing. And feeling bad about it.
GUILT FUELS YOUR MOTIVATION TO LIVE A NEW LIFE.
That was what Jesus came to do to the disciples who were struggling with their powerlessness.
Jesus did not come to condemn them or criticize them. Jesus came to help them to move on. Jesus was using their guilt to fuel their motivation to live a new life.
Especially Peter. They all deserted Jesus but Peter went one step further. He denied Jesus. Not only once but three times. So Peter felt the most about his guilt.
So when Jesus kept asking whether he loved him, he was hurt.
He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ (John 21:17)
He was hurt because he felt guilty.
Even when he said, I love you, he didn’t say it confidently. He said it feeling that he didn’t deserve to say that.
When Jesus asked him, do you love me, his guilt was triggered. That was why he was hurt.
Why does Jesus keep asking when I already said that I loved him?
Why did Jesus keep asking? Why did he ask three times? Because Peter denied three times? To match the number?
Maybe. But personally I don’t think that was the reason.
Jesus did not doubt Peter’s love. Jesus knew Peter’s love even though he loved Jesus in his limited way.
Jesus asked three times and he used this special word, Agape for love. The word agape – unconditional love.
But three times, Peter answered with the word, Phileo. That’s friendly love. Not unconditional love.
Probably Peter couldn’t use the word Agape, knowing what he did. That was Ok with Jesus. Jesus knew Peter’s limited love.
But that was not why Jesus asked Peter three times expecting him to say the word, Agape.
Jesus understands your limited love.
Jesus asked Peter three times because he was about to say a very difficult thing to Peter.
After asking three times, Jesus said this.
Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.’ (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ (John 21:18-19)
But Peter didn’t understand why Jesus asked him three times.
Only thing he could think of was his denial. That was why he connected Jesus’ question with his guilt.
That’s what guilt does. Makes you self-absorbed.
But Jesus did not leave Peter alone in his guilt.
He wanted to restore him. He wanted Peter to embrace his love for Jesus. Jesus wanted Peter to do something better instead of just feeling guilty.
Jesus wanted Peter to live a new life.
To guilt ridden Peter, Jesus turned the guilt into fuel to live a new life.
Jesus said, feed my lamb. Take care of my sheep. Don’t just sit there, feeling guilty. Stand up and move on. Feed my sheep.
Guilt, when it is combined with love, it becomes a powerful fuel to motivate you to live a new life.
But when guilt is combined with anger or fear, it becomes a deadly force to destroy you.
That’s why St. Paul said this.
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:10)
Godly grief is the guilt combined with God’s love. Worldly grief is the guilt combined with pride, fear, and anger.
When guilt is combined with pride, we do self-justification. We try to lessen our guilt by self-justification.
When guilt is combined with fear and anger, we do self-punishment. We become paralyzed. We become depressed. We become very anxious. That is death.
But when guilt is combined with God’s love and mercy, we live with hope to change.
Guilt hides hope within it. Guilt helps us become humble but not only being humble but a strong motivation to become a better person.
When guilt is lifted, Peter became strong. He became bold.
All you who are struggling with heavy burden of guilt, come to Jesus.
Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Come to Jesus. Lay down all your burdens of guilt and find rest.
With new strength, you can move on.
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