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Depression and Struggles
There are times when we feel really tired. Not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. We feel tired about life. We lose appetite for everything. Lack of motivation. Lack of desire. Nothing makes us happy and satisfied. We get easily angered. We feel all alone.
When we feel like this, we don’t know what to do. There is nothing that we can do. We feel helpless and hopeless. We feel like our will and our desire are attacked. If we have strong will and strong desire, at least we can do something about it. We can fight our problems but when our will and desire are attacked, we don’t know what to do. We don’t have control over our emotions but negative emotions control us.
These days, media talks a lot about mental health issues. Celebrity athletes shared about their struggles.
Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast shared about her depression. She couldn’t continue her program at this Olympic. Some time ago, Naomi Osaka, No. 1 tennis player in the world also shared about her mental issues. She withdrew from the French Open. Michael Phelps who is the most decorated Olympian of all time with a total of 28 medals shared his struggles about his mental health.
These are people who could achieve what ordinary people could not achieve. They are people who are gifted with special abilities and yet they feel helpless and hopeless. But it is not just those special people who struggle with their mental issues. We all struggle with our mental issues.
Through the Word
We read a very interesting story about Elijah. You know Elijah. He was the one who appeared to Jesus on the mountain with Moses. He was the prophet of the prophets. He was the greatest prophet in Israel history.
He brought fire from heaven and rain during the drought. He was the one who chased out the false prophets whom Jezebel brought into Israel. He didn’t even experience death. He was caught up in the whirlwind into heaven. If you say golf, then Tiger Woods comes into our minds. Swimming, Michael Phelps. Gymnastics, Simone Biles. Like that, if we say prophets, Elijah comes into our minds.
The Scripture does not talk about only good things about people. The Scripture talks about their dark side too. The king David was the most admired king of Israel but the Scripture talks about his dark side too. Peter was the rock on which Jesus built the church but the Scripture talks about his denial of Jesus. In that way, the Scripture is real.
Today, we see a broken man who lost every desire to live. He just wanted to sleep to die.
Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. (1 Kings 19:5)
He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank, and lay down again. (1 Kings 19:6)
He just wanted to sleep.
Simone Biles said in her interview with Vogue.
At one point I slept so much because, for me, it was the closest thing to death without harming myself. It was an escape from all of my thoughts, from the world, from what I was dealing with. It was a really dark time.
The prophet Elijah just wanted to sleep. He wanted to die.
But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: ‘It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life.’(1 Kings 19:4)
This gave me a tremendous comfort. Even the greatest prophet went through this kind of struggle. He knew the power of God. He exercised the power of God. And yet he was not invincible. We see a man lying down totally powerlessly. He was about to give up everything. Not only his prophetic career but his life. We see a man totally broken. After all, he was a broken person like all of us.
Yes, we see not a powerful man who performed wonderful miracles but a broken man who was filled with fear and anxiety. But we also see something else. We see God who takes care of him with tender love. We see God who does not leave him alone. We see God who touches him with a gentle hand. 어루만지다: Caress It’s like a mother caressing her baby.
When we want to give up, God does not give up on us. God sent an angel to Elijah. He gave him food. He ate the food but he laid down again to sleep. But God did not give up on him. The angel of the Lord came a second time and touched him. That is how God works. If once is not enough, God comes to us again. If it doesn’t work for the first time, he comes the second time. If it didn’t work for the second time, then the angel would have come the third time.
It shows that healing is a process. It is a journey. It is a life journey.
The angel told him to get up, eat, and take the journey. Keep on keeping on.
What distinguished Elijah was not that he was invincible but that he was faithful. He didn’t feel like getting up. He felt like lying down and sleeping. But when the angel came to him the second time and told him to get up and start journey, he got up and took the journey.
The Voice of Truth
We cannot always live as we feel like it. Our emotions can sometimes drive us into darker places. Living by our emotions is a weak life. We should not be controlled by our emotions. We should learn to hear the inner voices deep within us. The voice of truth. The voice of God. When darkness attacks us, we are surrounded by the overwhelming voices of our emotions. You will not get any better. You are worthless. You are not lovable. No one cares about you. All these voices fill our hearts. Silence them. We will be able to hear the inner voice.
Before, Elijah only saw God in obvious manifestations such as wind, earthquake, and fire. But this time he was able to hear the still small voice.
‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. (1 Kings 19:11, 12)
The voice said,
What are you doing here, Elijah? (1 Kings 19:13)
What are you doing? – This question implies “who are you?” “Where are you in your life?” When we hear the inner voice, reading the Scripture, these questions arise within us.
When we hear the inner voice, we will be restored
Our brokenness takes us where we don’t want to go. It takes us to a dark place. But with God, this dark place becomes mother’s womb where a new life is created. In this dark place, a new life can be created.
“Break”
In Hebrew, the word “break” is the same word as “giving birth.” It is interesting.
Rabbi Daniel Lapin explains how the same word is used for “break”, “giving birth”, and “food.”
The Lord’s language is teaching us that when something breaks and is destroyed, it also can give birth to something entirely new which can provide ongoing sustenance. It’s interesting that this idea has carried over into English where we have similar positive connotations for, “giving someone a break,” “breaking into a new business,” the phrase, “break of day” and of course, having a “breakthrough.”
He also said, “One problem is that often we allow a breaking of something in our lives to break our spirits. Instead, we must ensure that it becomes the birth of something new and positive.”
When your life situations break you, don’t let them break your spirits. May your brokenness be an opportunity to have a new breakthrough. This kind of breakthrough is possible only in our brokenness. Don’t be scared when you are broken. You are in God’s good hands.
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