Where is God? (Wednesday Women’s Bible Study)

*Following article was published in Glad Tidings, the bimonthly magazine of the Women’s Missionary Society of The Presbyterian Church in Canada (Sept/Oct 2015).

St. Timothy Presbyterian Church is a church with two congregations:  a Korean speaking ministry (KSM) and an English speaking ministry (ESM). The KSM congregation consists of 1^st generation Korean immigrants and the ESM congregation is made up of their children – 2^nd and 3^rd generation Korean Canadians, as well as other ethnic and Caucasian members. The women in both congregations vibrantly serve the church in various aspects; not only are they the backbone of their families, but that of the spiritual family at church as well.

One of the vital gatherings at St. Timothy is our Wednesday Bible Study group where we gather every Wednesday, fervently studying the Word of God under the leadership of Rev. In Kee Kim, our senior minister. This group has been gathering for the past nine years and has been through so much together. Weekly sharing consists of deep insights of the bible, as well as the joys and struggles of life. Their passion for God is not contained only within the bible study group, but overflows to all aspects of church life as well as the lives of other members in the congregation. Here, three of our bible study group members share their testimony of the spiritual journey we took together.

~ Jane Yoon

God is where love and community is. …And I know where to find Him. For me, it is at my Wednesday morning Women’s Bible Study. God is never just in one place, I know, but when I’m searching for Him and He seems far away, I am pretty well guaranteed to find Him there.

I’ve been going to this bible study for about, oh, maybe 8 or 9 years. I’m not sure how it first came about – all I know is that the senior minister in our church firmly believes that it is by getting to know the Bible and its contents better that we will be led to the truth and come to know God. I believe he is right.

We are a small group of women closely knit – not cliquey, just closely knit. We gather together every Wednesday morning from about 9:30 to 11:30 or so. I believe if time permitted, many of us would be there the entire day. Sometimes as few as five of us make it there, sometimes we squeeze tightly around the table with 11 or 12 of us. Our numbers don’t really seem to matter, as each session brings on a synergy of its own. I should mention, those numbers include our ministers (usually two) who faithfully come to teach us and guide us and also, be one of us. We are closely knit by our shared interest – a better understanding of the Bible and a closer relationship with God.

Over coffee and snack, which we take turns providing, we listen to our senior pastor, Reverend In Kee Kim, as he shares his knowledge of the Bible – its history, culture, and socio-political context. Through this rich background so lovingly prepared and delivered for us, we begin to better see and understand what it is that we are reading. This then leads to a discussion of what it is we think we understand. While we regard and revere Reverend Kim as our minister and teacher, during this time of discussion, he also becomes one of us and we speak openly, questioning, pondering, sharing… lots of sharing. This is key – I make note of the significance, beauty, and power in these two points: 1) that Reverend Kim, being male, is able to be one of us, enabling us to share of ourselves so openly, and 2) that we share of ourselves so openly.

Learning together, communicating with each other, being there, we have come to experience glimpses of God’s amazing presence and grace in our lives. Our bible study has evolved from a time of complaining about life’s challenges and disappointments to becoming a time of shared excitement and thirst for what the Bible has to reveal. We’ve even gone as far as referring to ourselves, jokingly and fondly, as Bible Study junkies.

I was not a Christian. I was a spiritual person but not a Christian. I look back and am amazed at how much I’ve changed in those years and yet I also look back and am amazed how painfully slow and stuck I continue to be.

Before: I forced myself to attend, being glad of the occasional legitimate excuse that made me unable to make it out that Wednesday. Now: I make it known to those around me that I am not available on Wednesday mornings because that is when my bible study is.

Before: I could never get through my homework of assigned readings and memory verse and had to show up, pretending to know what was being discussed. Now:   I am drawn to reading the Bible and related materials to the point where I feel I need to hide my doing so, so as not to appear obsessive.

Before: I made it clear that I was only interested in learning about the Bible; that I was not Christian. Now: I am baptized and find it hard to temper my enthusiasm about God.

Before: I was a rapidly aging middle aged woman. Now: I am a wide eyed child, unable to control her curiosity and excitement.

Before: I was fearful and claustrophobic. Now: I find joy and peace and beauty. I feel alive!

Yes, I believe I have found God. Years of preparation through this bible study has made me able to recognize that I have.

What we experience in this bible study is so precious that it must be shared. And so, we do. Women from within our church and from without our church have come and gone, and then come again when able. Our numbers grow and shrink, and then grow again as life’s circumstances change.   It is organic. It is alive.

~ Maeng Hong

I’m not sure exactly how our Wednesday Women’s Group Meeting started 9 years ago. I remember talking to a fellow Sunday school teacher and we discovered that we were both searching for something. There was a sense of loneliness and disconnectedness even within the church community we belonged to and served for many years. Perhaps we hoped this emptiness could be assuaged by connecting to each other through “deep, serious” conversations which we felt were not possible during the usual Sunday after service fellowship time. So we approached another Sunday school teacher about starting a weekly gathering and she soon called our first meeting.

In the beginning, as our bible study leader, Rev. Kim often recalls, we were a loud group of women complaining about everything from unromantic husbands, rebellious children, dirty socks on the floor, and the ever present dishes in the kitchen sink. After venting, we would of course give each other our own two cents worth of advice. Rev. Kim would then from time to time, warn us of guising old wives’ wisdom as pseudo theology and try to steer our attention to the bible.

It is impossible to see how and when changes take place. It is only as I look back that I realize we are not quite the same group of women we were back then. Somewhere along the line, as God’s words were being planted, we began to truly dig deeply into the scriptures in our meetings. As we grew more entrenched in the study of the scriptures we began to heal and grow in many ways.

Over these past years some members of our group went through very difficult life challenges, suffering greatly. Some dealt with debilitating illnesses and others endured bouts of clinical depressions. And now recently in my own life, I find myself faced with the threat of possibly losing a family member to an illness, one of my uttermost worst fears, putting my faith to the test.

On many of our mornings, some of our sisters would come even as they were battling an illness just to sit and listen, too tired to talk much. Yes, as we were taught, life is indeed precarious. But I have witnessed from the quiet faith of my sisters, that while God may allow us to go through turbulent times, His grace continues and so we are able to stand resilient through life’s storms.

I am thankful to the ladies for sharing their lives with me these past 9 years. Although I am afraid of what the future might hold, I have learned much from their examples, and am strengthened by their presence in my life.

I am thankful to Rev. Kim for faithfully planting seeds and patiently waiting, encouraging us to question and to voice our doubts and fears. He endured our complacencies and accepted us in our failures, teaching us all the while that it is God who started His good work in us, and it is He who will bring us to completion.

~ Kee Choe

I joined the Wednesday Bible Study four years ago when Kee asked me to give it a try. Since then, I have never looked forward to anything more eagerly than the Wednesday Bible Study. Even though I attend a Catholic church on Sundays, on Wednesdays, together we listen to beautifully prepared messages by Rev Kim. His messages are priceless gifts, a motivating catalyst for the week! Sometimes, I share what I learn from the Bible Study with my family members, and to me that is scattering the seeds for continual growth in faith, hope, and love. Thanks Kee for inviting me four years ago, thanks everyone for sharing spiritual goals, and thanks Rev. Kim and Rev. Jane for your genuine efforts and zeal to lead us to love and serve God.

~ Jackie Kim